You Don't Know You're Beautiful

A few weeks ago I heard a commercial that seriously disturbed me. There I was, getting opening things done at work, rocking out to pandora as I usually do before work, when I hear a commercial for a tanning salon that I couldn't even believe. I wasn't really paying a whole lot of attention, because let's be real here, I obviously don't give a rip about tanning salons. Anyway, I caught part of the commercial and the part I caught said something along the lines of, "When you're tan, you'll feel better about how you look and the outside. And when you like what you see on the outside, you'll like what's on the inside better." So what I took from that was that in order to feel good about myself as a human being, I need to focus on my outward appearance first. Because how could you have any problem with you if you look pretty? After all, that's what's important, right? What we look like on the outside. Why take the time to learn to love yourself no matter what and focus on what your inner voice is saying to you about you when you can simply lay in the tanning bed and make yourself prettier?

It amazes me a little bit that we as a society seem to understand what's so very wrong here, but it continues to happen. We continue to tell generation after generation that they aren't pretty enough so they must not be good enough. We continue to create an unrealistic ideal that turns into nothing more than a general dissatisfaction with how we look. And sometimes general dissatisfaction turns into something so much worse. People's lives are ripped apart because they learn to hate themselves because they will never be as pretty or as skinny or as perfect as society tells them to be. It simply isn't acceptable that this is a reality.

In thinking about all of this, I found something I wrote a few years back and it fits rather well:

 Today in my writing 1 class we watched the Dove Evolution video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYhCn0jf46U) and were asked to analyze it. When asked what claim Dove was trying to make this old man in my class had the audacity to raise his hand and say that because the girl wasn't really pretty to begin with, Dove was saying that using their products will make you beautiful. This seriously pissed me off...first of all the freaking video says that it's pointing out why our standard of beauty is so unrealistic. He was seriously trying to argue that this girl was ugly and Dove was trying to pimp their products. Guys like him are the reason girls hate themselves and develop eating disorders! I grew up watching my mom ruin her own body by being anorexic because she has an unrealistic view of what it takes for her to be beautiful. Trust me, it's not pretty. I think guys like the one in my class and also the beauty industry as a whole should be ashamed for pushing such unrealistic standards on women. Little girls see advertisements or even hear adults talking and think they have to look like models for people to think they are pretty...I applaud Dove for trying to change this. Yeah, they're a business and are trying to make money, but they are also trying to make the world a little better for women everywhere and give little girls a positive start and the self-esteem they so desperately need.

And to all of the girls reading this...You are all beautiful ♥

I still stand by everything I said that day. But what will make this better? That Dove video was new 4 years ago and today I don't see anything changing. I think we as women perpetuate the problem at times. We buy into it. We turn to the right clothes and the right way to do our makeup and best way to get a bikini body to make us feel better. But is there a real solution in any of that? Isn't all of that just fleeting? What about when you wash that makeup off and change into your sweats? Do you still love you? Or do you only love the you that you allow people to see out in the world? If that's the case, how terribly tragic.

In my mind, change will happen only when we all learn to look within. When we train our inner voice to speak with kindness. When we learn to be more gentle with our selves. As much as this is a societal ill, I think there is a problem that lies within each of us as well, one that won't go away until we can truly learn to accept ourselves and love ourselves each and every day no matter what. On bad days, guess what, you're still living! And just living can be hard enough sometimes. Why make it any harder on yourself?

One of my yoga instructors said something in class somewhat recently that has stuck with me ever since...she said, "Practicing non-violence with others is usually second nature to us, but we often forget to practice non-violence with ourselves."

Moral of the story today? Um, I'm kind of all over the place I suppose. But as a society, we have got to stop telling people that their worth is only skin deep. And as humans, we have got to stop believing that our worth is only skin deep. Then and only then will positive change happen.