Being Afraid of the Dark

"You have to deal with the bad times because they make the good times so much better."

"We wouldn't know how good the good times are if it wasn't for the bad ones."

These are the things people say...these are the things we believe. 

I think this is nonsense. 

And maybe I'm dead wrong about that, but in my head the bad times don't make the good ones seem better, they make them terrifying. 

They make every day feel like you're standing on the edge of a black hole that you might just topple into at any moment. 

The bad times become comfortable. 

We learn how to navigate the darkness, how to do life normally when we feel anything but normal. 

But then when there's light? 

Well that's a different story. It's something that can so quickly slip away. 

And if you've embraced the little bit of time in the light...well the fall back into the dark hurts like hell. 

And it leaves you wondering how you ended up there again. 

Why you can't just be a normal human being who can embrace the gift that life is and love it on a day to day basis. 

But that's what you begin to accept. 

That's life and you press on hoping beyond hope one day it will be better. 

But the better days are difficult to grapple with when you're always afraid of the darkness coming back.

So can I tell you what I think needs to happen?

I think we need to stop telling people that their pain will be worth it one day, that some mysterious time in the blind future, what hurts right now will make it better later.

I think we need to be people who accept the fact that other people are people too.

And I think we need to make an effort to make it better right now instead of telling them it will be better later.

I think that even when we don't understand things, it's our responsibility to take people's hands and let them know that we're there and we aren't walking away.

I think we need to do what we can to make them smile and make them laugh on those days when smiles and laughter seem impossible.

Because here and now is what's important, not the inevitable better days in the future that seem eternities away.

And when the days are good?

For the love of all things good and holy, embrace them!

They are fleeting and they are far between some times. 

So acknowledge that.

Know that they might not last but don't let that knowledge scare you into loving them.

Let that knowledge push you to live and love it.

Don't let the fear of falling back into the dark turn into an even greater fear of the light.